When there is responsibilities over friendship

It's no longer pure friendship

yet a sense of being responsible to the whole team

once julie told me that:

in order to maintain a good relationship,

it's better for the other party(ies) to know u less

so as to keep a good memory abt ur character

that's nth easy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To a certain point, i seriously failed myself

I'm never good at making choices

and that harmed me ............ at least there are regrets in life

doubt if that is good for me or not

once i rmb someone saying

" If that person is to be great,

God will give him challenges in advance

Yet for those whom God have abandoned

They will never face any challenges or enjoy success"

this line floats in my mind the night before HKCEE result release

and my intuition leads me to such a conclusion

that i must be able to get a place in shcc

[prove to be the case that i'm not/never a great person]

still that occured ............ in a less smooth way

fear and anxiety filled my brain till they read out my name

right at that moment , i realise that God has still kept an eye on me (not both~)

for i had been blaming God not to hv me blessed

and doubted if he ever listened to my prayers

Now, for wt i hv is a secure f6 class to attend

and my parents wish me to go out

provided loads of adv.s

Doubt ,  a word so familiar in my xanga

appears in my brain often .......... hv always been the blocking stone in front of me...................

making me unable to success

in every aspects of my life

7-11

Julie's birthday

but i went to enjoy my aunt's drama

a good one

and allow me to pick up the feeling of getting on stage

and how to present myself

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

things never happen in a sudden

everything has its own plan...........

thing start with a cause ........... usually

and feelings flow like wtsoever~~ uncontrollable

To be or Not to be

this start with a phone call on Tues......... the day after my chinese ce oral

she phoned

but i couldnt pick up the call coz i went back sku for choir practice

until now.................. i didnt hv the courage to call back [the initiative i mean]

i sincerely wish that she would Never call back ...... but hard to avoid

i juz dun wanna tell her a Heart-Breaking news that i'm gonna give up wt i'm supposed to con't

kindda respect to a great teacher i've never seen in life

too much constraints in this world ........ making things much harder than u and i think

and this is the thing that she cant accept / expect [maybe she had never consider the pressure all around ]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The~End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

totally off track !!!

wt's happening to me = ="

cant function properly~~